Nick,

I don’t think the writer is saying that a man has to make up for a woman’s “lack of agency,” I think she’s getting at the idea that men have to help create a space in which women feel safe enough to exercise their agency. They have to contribute to an interaction that feels equal and enthusiastic. I don’t really understand why many men are so resistant to the concept of making sure someone is comfortable with sexual acts. Checking in, fostering a comfortable environment, and contributing to a space in which all parties involved can enjoy themselves seems easy enough (and more enjoyable, in fact) to me.